Reality Bites Back #3

I got to thinking as I was driving today.

In 1976 the week of 4th of July I was with my Gran, my beloved Aunt Peggy and Uncle Bob, and 2 (at the time) annoying cousins Ron and Trevor.

It was cherry blossom time and for 8 yr old me.. fantastic fun.

The mint, the FBI building, Mt Vernon, The Bicentennial Ringling Bros and Barnum & Bailey Circus (Someone stole my Gran's purse as we walked up to it)

And the parade.

All things celebrating being American.

Forward 50 yrs later to cringe at the thought of how far we fell from that 200 yr climb.

My uncle was a staunch Republican. I never once felt disrespected, hated or put down by him. He could argue an issue with facts, logic and life experience. He believed in education and science.

He had a hard side. He was a veteran who served in Korea, grew up in a time and returned to a country that didn't yet understand things like PTSD, the long term effects of abuse in families or out.

I would have crawled across glass had he needed it. No one person has ever been as dedicated to me as Bob.

He'd be reviled by what passes for the GOP today. As much h as I miss him 19 years after his passing I'm glad he didn't see this.

The two (3 if we count Pride but this is more political) sides of today's national events have me longing for what seems like the last of not only my innocence but our countries.

I'm hard pressed to imagine long, passionate late night DEBATES over things political or topical the way my parents and grandparents generations did.

I know that's me stuck on the moment but I desperately wish I could see away out of it.. passed it.

I hate feeling unequal to the moment even knowing no one of us can be.

I hate feeling helpless on every level.

So I'll stand up, I'll scream back at the abyss, I'll remember youth and hope, I'll look for beauty and inspiration.

I'll work to live up to who I'll not be now.